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Dear John,
It was 18 years ago this day, I was surrounded by family after a crazy night with some of my bridesmaids. Remember how we were each staying in a rented house with those of our wedding party that could come up the night before. Our hot tub didn't work but us girls didn't care, we got in any way. You and your guys had all the great amenities and everything worked at your place. The next day was so windy, I was so worried about our outside wedding, we had a back up inside the venue, but you took the reigns and put your foot down and said we're having it outside overlooking the ocean just as we dreamed of. I was glad you did, we were all getting so stressed.
I got ready, my little girl, Chelsea Rosenberg, dressed in a miniature version of my wedding dress (I showed it to you again on your sentencing day) and our daughter, Mariah in a similar dress but she was only 6 months old. The dresses were so small and special like my girls. We dated for five years, I waited a long time to marry you. You said you were only going to do this once and this was forever. I believed that.
We headed over to the house that overlooked the ocean there in beautiful Mendocino, it was our place. We went there twice a year for the Wine and Whale festival for years. We amassed a very nice selection of wine during those years, mostly to remember our trips there. So naturally, that is where we were going to get married. I arrived at the house for the ceremony, the family was already there and as I walked towards the yard I will never forget the handwoven babies' breath hand woven into the lawn to create the aisle. Funny thing was, I didn't even follow the aisle, I kind of mowed right over it. I was so nervous. My dad and your day, my future father in law walked me down the aisle. These two poor men had to practically carry me down the aisle to you, I had tunnel vision and was feeling faint. I was nervous because it was a dream wedding so to speak. I had waited for a long time to have a real family, a man who adored me and our children and that loved me. That day, I believed I had that.

I remember the ceremony, we made our own customized vows with our officiant. We included my children, giving them silver necklaces that had a sculpture of two parents wrapping their arms around a child. Together, we gave these to each of my children, Michael and Chelsea as a symbol of you making the same vows to the children that you were making to me. To love, honor and cherish and so on.
It was shortly after the wedding that we moved to Oregon right behind your parents. I picked up my children and my entire life and moved it with my new husband. Within months, the honeymoon was starting to end. I lived in a 32-foot trailer with no heat or A/C on my in-law's property raising a 6-month-old, a 4-year-old and an 8-year-old. You stayed behind to finish constructing our home that was burnt in a fire from arson from your former employees at your work that you supervised. We lost everything, but it gave us a chance to start again. But I had to leave my hometown, everything I knew and my friends to do so. It took about 8 months to find a house, by this time you had finished the house back in Santa Rosa and moved to Oregon to join us.
When I married you, you were a hard-working man. You had nice things, you were a pretty good dad. You were a good provider. We had some crazy things happen in our lives, with the fire and you getting hurt (and yes you told me the truth on how you got hurt, not what you told everyone else). But we had good things too, we found a beautiful piece of property that had everything you asked for, a beautiful daughter and two other great kids that were going to be raised in a country environment instead of a city one. It didn't take long for things to change, however. Little did I know the monster you were going to slowly become over the next 13 years. It's amazing how you broke every single vow to the letter that you made this day 18 years ago, EVERY SINGLE ONE to all of us!
Looking back, I can see some of this behavior already in place. But somewhere along the line, something changed in you. I tried so hard to accommodate you in every way, with not working, any business you wanted to start, letting you stay home, taking on all the financial burden, holding down the fort while you did all the scout functions. I did not get to participate in life with you and my family because I became the sole provider for our family. I had no choice, you made it that way. So many years of freezing cold, early mornings and late nights, barely surviving, the threat of losing our house...it was all put on me. Candy will take care of it somehow, work more hours, find more work to do. I did this for 8 solid years while I watched you fall deeper into a different person. You were brutal to the kids, cold showers, stripped of their cool clothes for a year, four-hour lectures, constant demand that they do all the chores late into the night while they watched you sit in a chair drinking beer barking out orders. So many times, I started an argument with you to get your attention off of them. I took the brunt of it. My children's recollection of their childhood, in general, is horrific because of you. My own son ran away and later pulled a gun on you to get you to stop. Does that sound familiar to your own childhood? You needed to be in control. That is what you learned from your own father. Only you didn't get the respect that your father did, you went too far.

Ironically I found my wedding ring and the promise ring I gave you 15 years ago yesterday, that I had been missing since moving a year and a half ago from the last home you and I lived in together.

The one that your sister and mistress (I didn't know at the time) helped us moved into. The one that asked where the bathroom was but knew all along. Looking back now, you must have been sweating the whole time, I find it rather funny now actually. There were a number of times that she had to hide when I came home unexpectedly. It was a good read how you groomed her on how to roll her car out of the driveway so I couldn't hear it and so much more. You were brilliant in how you pulled off so many years of this. I am actually quite impressed, I could never have done that. But the worst part of this day in remembrance is how it's only been two days since you were released from prison. You were in prison for molesting my beautiful child, trying to take my life and so many other reasons. You know the evidence, you took a plea bargain, otherwise, you would have served no less than than 34 years in prison if we went to trial. You are one lucky bastard that we lost our funding in our county at that time. You know what you did, how proud are you of yourself? I know your really mad that you finally got caught, sorry, but I wasn't going to let you take my life or tell me that myself and my family and your new family were all going to live together. I decided that it was time for this to stop, it took this horrific experience to get me out and I am grateful. Thank you for holding me hostage for the second time in my life, only this time I spoke up. I haven't had to see you much over the last four years, often in court, you were on a monitor or a phone. So the thought of actually seeing you doesn't make me scared necessarily, but because I honestly don't want to see the face of the man that promised to take care of his family this day 18 years ago, that tried every way to destroy us. Years of abuse, years of molestation of my child and attempted on others, years of cheating and affairs, extreme need for sexual prowess and perversion, years of "poor me", pretend disabilities and even some real ones in there too, years of being made to be the breadwinner with no help and finally just moments to try to take my life because if you couldn't have me, no one will. Your own jealousy based on what you were doing yourself and not reality, tripped you up. You wanted your cake and eat it too.
If I had had a way out, I would have run as far and as fast as I could years before, but remember all those times you threatened me, that if I ever left, you would kill me or the children. Interesting how that actually almost happened. Your own father told me that he was sorry that he didn't listen to me. I even kept my promise to that man and I am thankful that he was not alive to know what you did to my child, I believe he might of killed you himself. Of course, your family believed you, I don't blame them, you are a master manipulator. Your mother and father were so deathly afraid of you, it was so sad to hear what they had to say. Funny how in the end, some of your own family members manipulated you and took full advantage of the situation. They are a Rosenberg after all. If they were just smart enough for one moment and took me out of the equation, they would have realized what kind of person it takes to feed off his own wife, carry on an entire double life and have other children and abortion with a married woman. The only thing I am guilty of was being unhappy watching you do all these things. I apologize for not being able to fake it better. As long as you were happy and got what you wanted, right? No need to step up and be a real man, husband or father. Instead, you were lying, cheating, child molesting, deadbeat human being. Now, how about that for some truth!!!!

I am most disappointed in the fact that you became EVERYTHING YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T BE! I will never understand how you live with yourself, but I have learned that severe mental illness allows you to believe your own lies. I, on the other hand, don't have any illness to blame or help me to cope with the truth of the hell you reigned on us. I had to deal with all that you have inflicted on this family without the advantage of no conscious or feelings. It makes me laugh when your family says, you have served your time, hell you even got to be taken care of for an extra four years. That is all you know, everyone takes care of John Rosenberg. You slithered your way through the court system, but you will serve a lifetime of hatred from those around you, knowing what you did no matter how many family members believe you. You deserve pain and humiliation every day of your life, just as you have inflicted on each of us. Most especially the lifetime of pain that you inflicted on an innocent child. It's a little chilling to think about how you believe you have done nothing and that I am lying about everything or somehow set you up. If only we could have gone to trial, the evidence was so heinous that even your own lawyer got sick to his stomach when he saw most of it. Yes, the lawyer that you had to pay for after you were caught lying on a form to get a public defender. You were caught stealing on camera and lied about that although we all watched you on the screen.
Your lies are all you know how to do, just like cheating you put it on me that I am the same. I wish that I had lied many times, done anything to put you away forever but I didn't and I have to live with the consequences of not being that way right now with you being out so much earlier than you ever would have been. I never broke a single vow, but I had to deal with more sickness than health, more poor than rich. I stood by you to the end, I never once cheated on you and only kissed three other men in my life...your father, my father, and my son. How dare you put your sickness on me, how dare you think that I am the same as you. Never could I be that way, even after watching you do it to me for years. I just became a workaholic so I didn't have to watch it as much. Thankful when you left the house for a few days, the family could breathe and stop watching you on the computer doing porn and cheating. It was a nightmare for us and the children.
I could have put you away for 25 years from day one, but I didn't. Your father still owes me one. I could have let you die when you threatened to kill yourself in front of our youngest daughter and took a bunch of pills to kill yourself, (of which I now know it was because you had a conscious for a moment back then of what you were doing to that child) but I felt guilty and didn't want my children to blame me for losing their father, so I went ahead and called the police to tell them. I could have driven out to Selma anytime after you were released from jail the first time and took your life. I sat on my living room floor with a 38 revolver in my hand ready to do just that, but thankfully for you, my dad talked me out of it. He was worried because at that time I did not know how to shoot a gun, and you could have easily overcome me and taken my life. Then who would protect my children? So again, I let you live. I didn't say a word in court, I filed the same things that all assault victims are told to file, restraining orders, stalking orders against the crazy-ass girlfriend and so on. Yet, I was being vindictive. I wish that I had been, things would be very different right now. I love how I have been called a liar, yet I am not the one that hasn't done anything. Every single word that I have said or put in writing can be backed up by a person or on paper including the 6-inch stack of messages that I got to read that was your own bone-chilling words on your escapades with men and women in local motels, how you were setting us up to all be one happy family, the abortion, how you didn't want to lose your wife and family but you wanted to make her happy too, the trips you took, the times she was at our house, how to sneak in and out while I was home. Even the funniest story of it all, when I came home early and you were in the hot tub. The poor thing had to duck under the cover while I stood there and talked to you. You tried so hard to get me to go back inside asking me to get you a drink, etc. so she can escape somehow. Then don't forget the day she was at our house helping us pack, she asked where the bathroom is when she knew all along. And to think that your family has any respect for you or be able to believe a word you say. It takes an incredible amount of deception and lies to pull this off for years, it was who you were. You lived in your own fantasy world while I financed it. I didn't do this, you did. So I am the liar? I have this stack of paper ready for anyone that wants to come read it. I have the photos that the detective took of the many boxes of perverted "toys" including the one you used on my child and were sent in for DNA testing and so much more. Just be warned, it will make your toes curl. I will not be called a liar!
I realize now that I was wrong, I should have been the most vindictive human being ever. You know what they say, if you are blamed or called it you might as well be it. You and your family would have been obliterated if I was truly vindictive. I will say that if I had known in the beginning what you did to my child, things would have been very different. If I had known, you would not be walking nor would you be breathing. Do you remember after the sentencing when you were walking down the hallway saying that everything I said that day was a lie (which you know damn well wasn't) and the detective said ok maybe she is but is your daughter lying too? Funny how you lowered your head and said NO. Can you tell me why there were 20 photos of my daughter on the wall as you walked into the Selma house? Not another photo of anyone, anywhere else. It must of been hard when Chelsea finally got out and headed to college, you were even savvy enough to find a woman that was a near-identical match to my child, I wonder if your mistress realized this. And finally, this was never about your cheating on me, you had been doing that for years....I would have been the happiest woman even if you had come to me and told me you wanted to be with someone else and let's get a divorce. But you had it too good, right? You had a charmed and incredible life until that day that you chose to be God. YOUR REIGN OF TERROR WAS FINALLY STOPPED!
All these years you have got to hide behind doors, walls, a computer, a phone then when you were caught, you got to hide behind the jail and prison bars, lawyers, mommy and daddy, sisters and nieces and nephews and even the court system. But now that is all over, no one can help you now.

YOU ARE ON MY TURF, you don't have control anymore, you now face the jury of the public and they don't sway like what you are used to. They won't believe you because I have a mountain of proof. Your own words, words, and actions you never imagined I and many others would get to read are here for anyone to read so they can see how insanely sick you truly are. I have NEVER LIED, but you, that is all you know. And there is a special place in hell waiting for you....
I would like to say that I hope you get better, but I know you are not capable. When I look back all the way to the beginning, I can see the monster you became starting back then, it is who you are. I would wish I never met you, but that means I would not have gotten one of the greatest gifts that I could be given and that is my daughter. Too bad you missed out on so much, you chose you. So I wish you and you well. I pray for anyone that comes into your life, I pray for their safety.

Know one thing, I will never forgive you nor will I ever be quiet again, did you honestly believe I was going to let you just roll into town and feel sorry for you. I will watch you be in your outside prison, treated like the monster that you are. Being in prison should be a cakewalk compared to the "freedom" you only think you have out here IN MY WORLD! I have an entire town behind me, you have no one and nothing of true value. All I have to do is tell my story and tell the truth. I have spent four years getting ready for you, I am not afraid of you, I am not someone that you have any control over any longer. I am really sorry that I stopped you from your wicked plans, but remember one thing, these were your choices, and for once in your life you have consequences. Albeit you still get away with so much, that is what John Rosenberg does. You can say whatever you think your truth is, I will respect that...but know that I will expect you to provide proof as I have and don't ever forget the universe knows what you have done and who you are. And I will take solace in knowing that one day when you leave this earth, you will answer to a higher power and I can only imagine what your punishment will be then. It makes me smile to think about it.
Look in the mirror, what do you see? What happened to you, how do you live with the images of what you have done? Why did you do these things? What on earth did I and my children do to you? Where did she go, what did you do to her? Are you going to get real and get help and stop hurting others? You told me for years that if anyone ever touched our daughters that you would kill them? I believed you, so why don't you take care of it. Give them the peace they deserve.

When I look in the mirror, I see a woman who endured many years of pain and suffering at the hands of a selfish man. I see a woman who has overcome that life, I have had to still be victimized by you, your family and the court system but ultimately I won. I won back me, I have a beautiful home, wonderful children, an incredible man and a rocking body...because finally, I can have those things. You no longer have control, I am prepared to do whatever it takes to never allow you to touch any of us again. But thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you did do that day, although I will live with it every day of my life, I also will now live every day of my life without you. I'm grateful that I got out, not everyone does. But I will help so many because of you, you made me a better person and gave me purpose. You know all too well how capable I am, I will be seeing you on an advocate level, as my work is not done here. You have to live with yourself, I don't, but scared for those that do.
YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO ALL THE THINGS YOU DID TO US. Why don't you just fess up and make amends at least with your demons! I feel sorry for you, you had it all! I know that the truth hurts and you want to say that it isn't so, but it is...there was no planning, no lies. None of us ever asked for any of this, YOU and YOU alone did all this. You just never imagined getting caught after so many years, you thought I was going to fold that day when the police came to the door. And I thought about keeping quiet and saying nothing because I knew there would be hell to pay. But I realized if I didn't say something, I was not going be alive. I chose me and my children that fateful day on January 6th, 2012. I am proud of myself for finally standing up to you and speaking out. I am far from done.
